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Zerofriends at WONDERCON!

March 24, 2013, 10:14 pm
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Once again, the time has come.
The time for fun, the time for puns, and the time Won... der-con that is!
That's right, we are packing up our JanSports, our cargo pants and our lifesize Drunk-Tony Stark cardboard cutouts and heading over to set up our ZEROFRIENDS Booth down in Anaheim, CA at the only comic book & geek convention ever to live next store to Disneyland: WONDERCON, or, as M.O.D.O.K. calls it: The W.O.N.D.E.R Con. which stands for The Whimsical Orphans Need Dumb Elephant Rocks Convention. Duh.

Image may be NSFW.
Clik here to view. photo WonderConDaveAlexBanner_zpsade7f453.jpg

ZEROFRIENDS (along with Dave Correia & myself) WILL BE SET UP AT BOOTH #1312 (it's a corner booth). Heres the con info:

ZEROFRIENDS x WONDERCON 2013
March 29-31
Anaheim Convention Center
Oh, and I will be hanging out signing/sketching at the booth on both Saturday & Sunday for a couple of hours, so come say hi!
I will be signing from 2PM-3PM BOTH SATURDAY & SUNDAY and floating around like a replica hoverboard the rest of the weekend so come say hi.

We will have a ton of prints (positively), shirts (100% guaranteed), books (don't worry, there's pictures in them), jokes (maybe), hugs (of course), and a few brand new additions to our family of torso-blankets, available exclusively and ONLY at WonderCon 2013:

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Clik here to view. photo IronManColorway2_zps348fa43c.jpg


"His Name Is ZERO"
Exclusive Iron Man Colorway
Limited Edition of 50, only available at Wondercon 2013

And my new favorite shirt that hopefully you didn't SEE coming...
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Clik here to view. photo StevieWonderconShirt_zpsb6250a5a.png
"Stevie Wondercon 2013" Zerofriends 2.0 Limited Shirt
Super-limited Edition of 15
Only available at Wondercon 2013

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Clik here to view. photo StevieWonderCon_zps614946bc.png

And we will have the entire new collection of my "DOPPELGANGERS" Prints available, with a lot of the prints making their debut!

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Clik here to view. photo DoppelgangersPosterFlat600dpi_zpsac417ed1.jpg
And a few more new items are still available as well, including Dave Correia's new "SCUMDANCE" prints
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Clik here to view. photo DaveScumdanceBanner_zpsa8bb2aa7.jpg

And my "DREAM GOBBLER" Print will be available too, along with a ton of other shirts and prints: Image may be NSFW.
Clik here to view. photo DreamGobblerWebBanner_zps8e132856.jpg

See you there!
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"Rat136" Opens This Saturday at ZEROFRIENDS OAKLAND!

April 2, 2013, 9:26 pm
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Matt Ritchie's work is something that, although incredibly clean, incredibly imaginative, incredibly skilled, and incredibly colorful, STILL should be viewed with your actual, in-person, 3-Dimensional human eyeballs. Because even his 2-Dimensional pieces somehow drip with dimension in person. It really is mind-blowing. That being said, if you are within 50 miles of Oakland this weekend, YOU NEED TO COME SEE MATT'S WORK IN PERSON OR YOU MAY DIE OF MYSTERIOUS INNER-SADNESS! And not to mention that you'll miss the FREE print giveaway to the first 40 attendees on opening night!

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Clik here to view. photo rat136postcard_zps1f49fa04.jpg

Opening April 6th at ZEROFRIENDS OAKLAND is Rat 136, a new exhibition from California based artist Matt Ritchie. As the title suggests, Ritchie will unleash 136 hand painted rats on the gallery, some in the form of small panel paintings, others as wood cuts, and even some super neat canvas paintings with wood cut frames forged by the crafty Mr. Ritchie himself.

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Clik here to view. photo rat2_zps8354cc9c.jpg

An opening reception will be held April 6th from 5pm to 8pm and Ritchie will be in attendance. Unsold works will be available online to view and purchase the next day via the Zerofriends website for those of us who can only attend in spirit. For more sneaks from the show, check out Ritchie's Instagram! (Thanks to SpankyStokes for the write-up!)
Matt will also be debuting two brand new 5" x 7" prints that night as well, shown here: "Cat136" & "Type136" will be available at the opening as well as online.

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Clik here to view. photo ratPrints_zps1288b288.jpg

"Rat136"
A Solo Art Exhibition by Matt Ritchie
At ZEROFRIENDS OAKLAND
489-A 25th St
Oakland, CA
Opening Reception April 6th
5-8PM

Here's some more previews of Matt Ritchie's insanely abundant and in-depth collection that will be at the show:

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Clik here to view. photo ratcollection_zpsaad92a4f.jpg

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Clik here to view. photo rat5_zps81dbca8c.jpg
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Clik here to view. photo ratcollage_zps159f782a.jpg



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Me and a Bobcat walked into a forest....

April 15, 2013, 5:42 pm
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Beautiful maniac Bobcat Goldthwait has a new film called “WILLOW CREEK” coming out and I honorably got to design the poster for it. This is what happens when you shove us both in the closet for a quick game of 7 minutes in heaven.

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Alex's longest Totem Pole

April 19, 2013, 1:12 pm
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Clik here to view.

Hey fellow pole-sitters and totem pole-dancers! Now you have something to commemorate your amazing hobby! Carved from genuine (and dead from natural causes) Native American trees comes my latest print, which also happens to be my LONGEST print ever! Anyway, it's limited to 100 and it's all kinda Iriquois...i mean Turquoise! CLICK HERE or on any of the pics to purchase.

"The Totem Pole"
By Alex Pardee
12" x 36"
Limited Edition of 100
Signed and numbered.
Printed with archival inks on velvet cotton rag paper.
Super great!
Image may be NSFW.
Clik here to view.

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"NO LONGER DYING OF THIRST" Timed Release Print

April 25, 2013, 3:02 pm
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THIS FRIDAY, April 26, (AKA TOMORROW), starting at 12:01AM, we will be re-releasing one of our popular sold-out prints as an all new Limited Edition "REMIX" print, and it will ONLY BE AVAILABLE TO PURCHASE AT ZEROFRIENDS (Both Online & In Our Retail Store) FOR ONLY 24 HOURS! After the 24 hour period, we will NEVER sell this print in this version again.
The new print is a remix of our "Dying of Thirst" print, now, given new life, aptly titled "NO LONGER DYING WITH THIRST"
Image may be NSFW.
Clik here to view.




At the end of the 24 hour time period, the exact number of prints that we sell will be the exact number of prints released for the edition. So, if only 3 people, one spam email and one armadillo buys them, then the edition will be 5. Cool? We think so!

Print measures 16" x 20"
The price will be $50.
Signed and numbered by me. 



So yes, starting tonight at midnight (pacific), from 12:01 AM to 11:59 PM and any single minute in between those times, you can purchase this new "NO LONGER DYING OF THIRST" Limited Edition Print (as seen above) either online at ZEROFRIENDS.COM or in person at our Zerofriends Retail Store in San Francisco.

Here's a side by side so you can see the original release:
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Clik here to view.

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"EEDIOTS!"

May 1, 2013, 4:02 pm
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"EEDIOTS!" 20" x 16"
Ink & watercolor on clayboard.
This painting will be on display as part of the annual "GAG ME WITH A TOON" art show that opens THIS SATURDAY, May 4th, at WWA Gallery. The show was curated by Steven Daily and features over 50 amazingly awesome happyhappyjoyjoy artists. It's rad. Check it out if you are down in the Culver City/LA area this weekend.


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Stephen Reedy's "THE FORGE"

May 8, 2013, 1:48 pm
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For everyone who has ever lost anything, and for anyone who is hurting.
"The Forge" beautifully written and directed by Stephen Reedy.

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"EEDIOTS!" Print now available

May 13, 2013, 1:49 pm
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Im full of happy. And happy. And full of a lot of joy. And some joy too, since we are announcing the release of my limited "EEDIOTS!" print at this very moment in time. Yes, right now, you Eediottttttttt! 
Rumor has it that the higher-ups don't really understands this print so it will probably get cancelled before it deserves to but then will forever live on the walls of your cool abode should you choose to buy it NOWWWWWWWWWWW on the Zerofriends site!
What are you waiting for, magic nose goblins to force you to do it??? BUY IT HERE NOW!

"EEDIOTS!"
By Alex Pardee
20" x 16"
Limited Edition of 200, signed and numbered
$50.00 each

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Clik here to view.
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Clik here to view.

And here is one of the 7639 reasons why I love this show....



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Superugly is superawesome.

May 16, 2013, 8:59 pm
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We have a good friend, who happens to be super handsome but for some reason calls himself SUPERUGLY. This friend of ours also happens to be an artist who has an amazing talent for all things silly, including transforming both horrific and beautiful people into hilarious silly characters. IN TWO DAYS, this Saturday, May 18th, from 1-5 PM, this good friend of ours will be making a special appearance at the ZEROFRIENDS store in SF with a gypsy-van full of super-non-ugly goods to hawk.

And as an added bonus, because Superugly just hog-tied us up and forced a ton of friendship on us, we now have a superugly deal going on at the store when he comes to visit: If you beautiful people spend $20 on ANYTHING in the store, Superugly will make YOU a one-of-a-kind "superugly" portrait right there on the spot like a maniac!

BUT WAIT! That's not ugly enough!!! The first 40 people to come by the event will get this FREE 5" x 7" signed print for no other reason aside from Superugly being super-generous!

So anyway, long story short, come hang out with us and SUPERUGLY and if you're lucky you can hear his hypnotizing laugh in person and get some whimsical art and goodies. The end! See you there.

419 Haight St
San Francisco, CA
May 18th
1-5 PM


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Clik here to view.


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I'm painting again! In real life! In SF!

May 22, 2013, 1:18 pm
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Life is too short not to paint on the weekends! So if you want to see what it's like for me to make a mess on a canvas, and spend a few hours trying to clean up that mess in hopes of making something look silly, come hang out at the ZEROFRIENDS store in San Francisco this Saturday, as I will be live-painting a 24" x 36" canvas there all day and who knows, maybe there will be a surprise weasel-adoption there too! 
Come see my back sweat!
MAY 25th
1-5PM
ZEROFRIENDS SF
419 Haight St
San Francisco, CA

It will look kinda like this, but smaller...

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Clik here to view.



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Craola Signing this Sunday in SF!

June 3, 2013, 10:35 pm
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This Sunday, June 9th, at our Zerofriends San Francisco store we couldn't be happier to play host to one of the most influential, imaginative wizards in the art world today. Making a stop on his art book release tour for his brand new painting book "THE OUTSIDE", the magical GREG "CRAOLA" SIMKINS will be making a rare appearance in SF, signing and selling limited copies of the "Silver Edition" of "THE OUTSIDE".
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Clik here to view.

What is the "Silver Edition"? It's a special, limited edition of the book with a silver cover and an exclusive print included. Because this is such a rare Bay Area appearance for Craola, you MIGHT be made fun of a lot if you miss this opportunity. So seriously, DON'T MISS IT!
Here is all of the info:

WHEN: Sunday June 9th, from 2-4PM
WHERE: ZEROFRIENDS SF Store
419 Haight St (around the corner from Upper Playground)
San Francisco, CA
WHAT: GREG CRAOLA SIMKINS will be selling and singing "silver editions" of his new art book "The Outside". The cost of the silver edition is $85.00.

ANNNNDDD.....

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Clik here to view.


Also this weekend, SATURDAY to be exact, at our Oakland Zerofriends Gallery, a brand new collection of apocalyptic treasures will be on display courtesy of the one and only madman, BRAD ISDRAB as he opens his new art show "DRAB FUTURE", featuring photos, props and toys featured in his insane upcoming indie sci-fi series of the same name. To get a glimpse of his collection that is even more amazing in person, check out this teaser and come hang out this Saturday, where the FIRST 40 PEOPLE TO ATTEND GET A FREE PRINT...FOR FREE!
Saturday, June 8th, from 5-8PM
ZEROFRIENDS OAKLAND
489 25th St Oakland, CA





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So much weekend!

June 13, 2013, 4:02 pm
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We have a TON of magical things happening this weekend all throughout the world of Portland, San Francisco, and the WORLD WIDE INTERWEBS! So here is the rundown, starting with the virtual world of onlines!

As we've been warning you, our band new shirt "The Dream Gobbler" will finally be released for sale tomorrow online at the ZEROFRIENDS webstore!  This insanely glorious 12-color discharge-screenprinted t-shirt will not only scare every person older than you, but if you are getting mugged, it also doubles as a scary mask if you put it on your head in a pinch!  The legend of "The Dream Gobbler" is a little known whimsical tale, however, but don't worry. If you aren't familiar with it, the story is SCREENPRINTED on the INSIDE of the shirt as a bonus fun thing for your stomach to see while you are frolicking around getting robbed and stuff. It will also be available in GIRLS SHIRTS AS WELL!



And we still have a handful of the original "DREAM GOBBLER" Giclee prints for sale too.



We love Portland and Upper Playground so much that we recently set up our annual Zerofriends x UP x PDX Pop Up store in Portland. And to celebrate us opening the pop-up, Alex Pardee will be signing and sketching at the store at 3 PM this SATURDAY, June 15th. The first 40 people to show up will get a free surprise item. For FREE. It's a surprise! UPPER PLAYGROUND PDX. 23 NW 5th St. Portland.

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Clik here to view.  

We just released a brand new "WEIRD" PORTLAND EXCLUSIVE shirt at the store too. This shirt will only be available at the Portland Zerofriends store.

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Clik here to view.  

But that's not all.....we finally got one of our favorite shirts back in stock in a new color.

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Clik here to view.  

And our good friend and amazing artist "EMONIC" will be doing live art and sketching at the San Francisco ZEROFRIENDS store this Saturday from 1-5. See you all soon! 419 Haight St. San Francisco.
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Clik here to view.  

Thanks again for all of the incredible support that allows us to keep making fun stuff!
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#THISISTHEEND Contest!

June 17, 2013, 3:09 pm
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If you saw the greatest comedy movie ever this weekend, where a bunch of handsomely cuddly funnymen hole themselves up in a giant fancy house and fight off fancy demon rapists of biblical proportions while discovering why true friendship is important, then you either sat at home and watched a VHS bootleg of my favorite episode of The Hardy Boys Mysteries, or you saw Seth Rogen & Evan Goldberg's "THIS IS THE END"!!

If it was the latter (which it fucking well SHOULD be), then amongst the gut clenching laughs and silly giggles, you may have noticed that a few of my paintings (as well as some amazing other artists like Os Gemeos, Ron English, Shepard Fairey, and more) scattered throughout the set, some that even got destroyed and used for shelter. There's not many words I can express for how I felt when Seth, Evan and the production art team approached me about using my art in the movie. But the best way to describe it, is the "opposite of getting forcefully titty-fucked". The universe that this particular group of comedians and writers has created and evolved over the course of 10 years is ridiculously admirable and one of the funniest, most insane worlds to be able to witness as a fan of laughter and absurdity. So I freaked out with joy at the opportunity, even if the paintings never got any screen time. I just got to live vicariously as a fly on the wall in the form of a painting, and it was exciting.

So, that being said, if you saw any of my paintings in the film and took note, you're ahead of the game in this case. If not, or if you haven't seen it yet, what are you waiting for????? Go see it so you can win this contest!
It's easy!
All you have to do is make mental note of where/when particularly the following 4 (FOUR) paintings of mine appear in the film. They are all slightly obscured but if you know what to look for it's easy! Keep in mind where the paintings appear in the film and email your answers to me. The first 10 people to email the correct answers will receive a pack of signed 8" x 10" prints of ALL FOUR of these images for FREE! (I'm sorry, U.S.A. only, due to shipping restrictions).
All you have to do is describe where and when you noticed them in the film. I'll know what you are talking about. No need to take screenshots, since you shouldn't have your phone on in the movie anyway, that's a dick move! And I won't accept simply "James Franco's house" since the whole movie takes place there.
So yah, have fun watching the movie a million times to find them!!! Contest specifics below.

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Clik here to view.


Here's the details:
1. Go watch "THIS IS THE END".
2. While laughing, pay attention to the backgrounds and look for THESE 4 PAINTINGS (in 4 separate locations) and take mental note or write down.
3. Send an email to Mr.AlexPardee@gmail.com describing where they were in the movie, along with your name and mailing address (USA ONLY).
4. If you hear back from me, you'll get some free prints. If you don't hear back from me by the time I post on Instagram or Twitter (@alexpardee) that the contest is over, then you didn't win but I really appreciate your eyeballs and your email.

Hopefully see you in a sequel when James Franco builds a new house!

Trailer for THIS IS THE END:

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"The Real Batman: The Toxic Edition" Timed Release Print This Weekend!

July 1, 2013, 7:38 pm
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Spoiler Alert: We have a brand new Timed Release "Real Batman: Toxic Edition" Limited Edition giclee print being unleashed this weekend exclusively on ZEROFRIENDS for only 72 hours! 
Now, assuming you are super-interested in more information, let's Tarantino it back to the beginning and start talking about what's going on.

Comic-Con is creeping it's nerdy head around the corner, so naturally, our heads are spinning like tazmanian devils and our hands are cutting, folding, spilling, and high fiving in the middle of the heat. But before we blatantly toss all of our shameless promotion for Comic Con in your digital face, we have a little Pre-Con release taking place THIS ENTIRE WEEKEND for you folks that are smart enough to stay home and not brave the Comic Con rapids of death! It will be our last official release until after Comic Con, so set your annoying and intrusive iPhone alarms to make sure you don't miss it.

Starting THIS FRIDAY, July 5, at 12:01 PST and for the following 72 hours until SUNDAY, July 7th at 11:59 pm, we will be selling this new "timed limited edition" variant print of my favorite mystical superhero-hunter-farmer. 

But first, take a moment to read about the origins of this wonder-man.

Here is the story about the REAL Batman:

"Not many people know this, but BATMAN (yah, your favorite masked detective) was based off of an ancient mythical cult icon. This particular iconic man was a simple bat hunter who, in a fit of symbiotic revenge rage, captured the bat that killed his wife and, since he couldn't live without his wife, he wanted to show the bat what it was like to depend on someone else for life and love. So the hunter shoved the Bat onto his head like a mask and forced the bat to remain a part of him. Shortly after, the tables turned and the hunter's foolish attempt at revenge backfired when he suffocated and died. The bat then took over the hunter's body and used his new found appendages and abilities to lead warriors to kill weak people because it was fun. True story."

So now that you know the story, and you realize that now you REALLY want to hang up a portrait of this hero on your wall to motivate you, you should worry no more because 
THIS FRIDAY, JULY 5th, starting at 12:01AM PST, and ending JULY 7th at 11:59 pm we will be re-releasing one of our popular sold-out prints in an all new Limited Edition Colorway ("The Real Batman:The Toxic Edition), and it will ONLY BE AVAILABLE TO PURCHASE ONLINE AT ZEROFRIENDS FOR ONLY 72 HOURS! After that weekend (Friday, Saturday, Sunday), we will NEVER sell this print in this colorway and size again.

At the end of the 24 hour time period, the exact number of prints that we sell will be the exact number of prints released for the edition. So, if only 3 people, one spam email and one armadillo buys them, then the edition will be 5. Cool? We think so!

"The Real Batman: The Toxic Edition"
Signed and Numbered by Alex Pardee
Print measures 16" x 20"
The price will be $50.

So yes, from any single minute between July 5th at 12:01 AM PST to July 7th at 11:59 PM, you can purchase this new "Real Batman: The Toxic Edition" Limited Edition Print (as seen above) online only at Zerofriends. 



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"The Real Batman" ON SALE NOW FOR ONLY 72 HOURS!

July 4, 2013, 11:18 pm
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Full Comic Con Release Schedule!

July 9, 2013, 10:45 am
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**I WILL BE SIGNING EVERY DAY OF THE CONVENTION FROM 1-2:30 AT THE ZEROFRIENDS BOOTH #5502 (right inside the "A-LOBBY" entrance).**

**DAVE CORREIA & JON WAYSHAK WILL BE SIGNING FRIDAY & SATURDAY 3:30 - 4:30.**

Image may be NSFW.
Clik here to view.




It's been 350 something days since I've smelled the sweat of 100,000 nerds and that HAS to change! So guess what? I'm gearing up my nostrils, packing up and going to San Diego Comic Con!



Considering that here in America we have little access to other tortuous "character-building" rituals, San Diego Comic Con is the closest thing I can imagine to walking on hot coals, stabbing yourself in the cheek with a barbed bamboo shard and circumcising yourself. In other words, It's AWESOME! Comic Con's a positive life-changing event that you should experience at least once in your life.  So, if this is your first time going, good for you! It's about time. You will now be one of the 100,000 weirdos that roams aimlessly and experiences feelings of overexcitement, dizziness, curious smells, and ultimate confusion as how there's a "sexy" version of Wolverine, what the hell a Bronie is, why Boba Fett is wearing Fred Flinstone's tunic and why no one is giving a shit about how crazy all of this is.

If you AREN'T going to Comic Con, none of this really matters right now anyway because it's been sold out since before Honey Boo Boo was famous for being shitty, and whole world suddenly cared about Instagram-Videos, Minecraft and Amanda Bynes' stupid nose.

But if you ARE going, please come by my ZEROFRIENDS BOOTH (#5502) and witness all of the BRAND NEW artifacts of awesome that we are shoveling onto your faces (pending the correct exchange of moneys of course:).
Which reminds me, by the way we will be ACCEPTING ALL MAJOR CREDIT CARDS AT THE CONVENTION BOOTH BECAUSE SQUARE IS AWESOME! So no need to stand behind the sweaty female Ice King at the ATM for an hour this time! Congrats, US! Now lets get on with the showcasing!! Start making your checklist now!





BEFORE YOU GET STARTED, PLEASE NOTE: Our booth number is 5502, which, logically, would be in the 5500 aisle. HOWEVER, there IS NO 5500 aisle. Instead, the 5500 aisle is the FRONT ROW OF BOOTHS. See above, we are actually located in the FRONT RIGHT CORNER of the convention center by all of the flashy video games that I will buy and not have time to play, in row 500/400!! If you get lost, refer to that awesomely clear map above.

Additionally, please follow MY INSTAGRAM (@alexpardee) and  MY TWITTER (@alexpardee) for any unscheduled signings, giveaways, and secrets, as I guarantee there's at least ONE cool announcement and at least 3 pictures of CHLOE and I getting into mischief.

Word.

Now that we have that out of the way, here is all of the madness that we are releasing upon your gorgeous face-headlights. Pay close attention, I'm only going to say it once, and then probably a thousand more times on Instagram.
RELEASE THE KRAKENNNNNNNS!!!!! Oh yah, and superhumans DAVE CORREIA& JON WAY$HAK will be singing at the booth, AND we are holding our first Treasure Hunt where there are 100 FREE limited edition signed prints that you can ONLY get by completing the Treasure Hunt. But you have to go to the ZEROFRIENDS BOOTH FIRST to get the details of how to find the treasure!!!

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And as usual, we will have a fully stocked gypsy camp worth of our usual gems!
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FREE STICKERS TOMORROW! Guilty Smurf black!! AHHHHH

July 25, 2013, 2:56 pm
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We just literally rolled in from Comic Con, practically on gurneys, after 8 days of intense tickling, i mean exhibiting. No, not Xibit'ing, where we talk in a deep voice and put PS2s in trunks of cars, exhibiting! At Comic Con! And it was great, so thank you so much to everyone who came and saw us (and actually FOUND our booth) at Comic Con this last week. It's more than appreciated, especially when you could have spent all of your time roaming around outside in Godzilla's territory or getting forced to Karaoke in Adult Swim's Fun House. 

Over the next few weeks we will be re-stocking and releasing ALL of the items that we had available at Comic Con online on the Zerofriends Store. 

But first, why not put up our best selling new items??
AND...why not give you a bonus for being patient while all of the Comic Con folk got first dibs??

Image may be NSFW.
Clik here to view.



That being said, starting tomorrow (technically tonight at midnight EASTERN time) July 26, and through July 28, any and every "Guilty Smurf Black" print or t-shirt that you buy will automatically get you a FREE Zerofriends sticker pack shipped along with it just for bein sweet! (NO NEED TO ADD THE STICKER PACK TO YOUR CART, WE WILL DO IT AUTOMATICALLY). 

So yah, Guilty Smurf Black will be released tomorrow, and you can get free stickers along with it! The end! 

You can purchase it starting tonight at midnight online only at ZEROFRIENDS.COM

Image may be NSFW.
Clik here to view.



Do you even know the STORY of Guilty Smurf?? NO?? Well, here ya go, directly from my mouth-fingers-keyboard:


"One of the most secretive and mysterious of all of the Smurfs, Guilty Smurf kept to himself the entire time all of the other Smurfs were basking in the glory of the limelight from the Saturday morning cartoon show and the popular toys. In fact, there wasn’t a single MENTION of Guilty Smurf in all of Smurf-lore until after the incident.
Envy had built up inside Guilty’s soul as he sat in the darkest mushroom apartment, silently pining for the attention and fame that the other Smurfs were getting. But he was too prideful and stubborn to join the party after they were famous.
So instead, he sat. And HATED.
After 6 seasons of cartoons, he couldn’t take their arrogance any longer.
In one smurfy afternoon, Guilty emerged from his mushroom abode and bare-handedly slaughtered all 24 of those famous tiny blue fame-whores.
And then, he did something the others could never do.
He murdered Gargamel and his pet cat Azrael, too.
With blood drenching his blue hands, Guilty Smurf returned to the now-quiet (and cancelled) Smurf village and slept quietly and happily forever."
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Nothing's better than 15% off!

August 5, 2013, 8:45 pm
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What's better than saving 10% on BRAND NEW THINGS? Duh, saving 15%, of course! (Don't get ahead of me, NOTHING is better than 15%)

And now you can save 15% ALL THIS WEEK ON BRAND NEW ITEMS!Click HERE to visit the store or on any of these banners!


Just think of all the things you can buy when you save 15%: 
•camouflage shoe laces
• spiked cat collars
• a new peg leg
NOW through Sunday, August 11.







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NEW PRINTS! FREE PRINTS!

August 15, 2013, 5:24 pm
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Image may be NSFW.
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Hi! Alex here. When Zerofriends was just a little elementary school collective of candy-salesmen back in 1986, we quickly figured out something that makes everyone happy: FREE CANDY! And when other kids' faces were stuffed with Mike 'n Ikes and their smiles leaked with sugary  drool, their happiness was infectious and all of a sudden WE were smiling too. And we LOVE smiling. 
 
So right then, on the four-square court, right after Little Dougie got hit in the face with the tetherball and was still smiling because of his sugar rush, we knew what we wanted to do for the rest of Zerofriends' life:
GIVE AWAY FREE THINGS! 

But now, we've moved on from free candy, to FREE PRINTS!

Fresh off of our "FREE DAVE CORREIA PRINTS" event last weekend, we are rolling right into our "FREE ME PRINTS" this weekend. By "ME" i mean...me. Alex. I have a brand new crop of 8"x10" open edition prints being released this Friday, August 16th on Zerofriends.com. 
And when you purchase any ONE (or more) of these specific 5 NEW PRINTS of mine, (seen above and below) you can pick out any ONE 8" x 10" of mine from my entire collection (new prints included) FOUND HERE ON THE STORE!

Ok, so let me re-iterate since this is no simple free candy transaction.

1. Starting FRIDAY, AUG 16th through SUNDAY, AUG 18th, check out the 5 brand new 8" x 10" giclee prints that will be released this Friday.
2. Buy one. Why not? You have a bathroom? They're perfect for bathrooms. You got a car? Hang if from the rear view! Art is fun! 
3. Before checking out and paying, go through the site and browse through some of my other 8" x 10" prints and take notes with your brain. You can see all of my 8" x 10" prints available easily by clicking HERE.
4. Point at one you like and say "THAT'LL DO!" and then make a mental note of the name of it.
5. Now go check out. In the "COMMENTS" section, simply state the title of the 8" x 10" Alex Pardee (me) print that you would like for FREE! Do not add the desired free print to your cart! Anything that's in your cart you WILL BE charged for! (Limit ONE FREE 8" x 10" PER ORDER). If you don't specify which print we will just randomly surprise you!

6. Smile! And we will too! 

Image may be NSFW.
Clik here to view.
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NEW "Red Handed 2" Print $20 OFF!!!

August 29, 2013, 2:05 pm
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If we would ever slow down to pat ourselves on the back, it would be for nothing more than the quality of our giclee prints. But the credit can't totally be taken by Zerofriends.

A few years ago we met a Leprechaun named Dandy at the end of an inverted, dark rainbow. But he had no gold. And no beer. Instead, Dandy had an Epson 9900 printer with archival inks. And he KNEW how to use it. But none of his Leprechaun friends cared about printmaking, as they were in the GOLD business. So they left him alone at the rainbow, defeated. So, we took him under our wing and nurtured him while all of his other friends traveled around the world to open "Cash 4 Gold" stores. 

So excited to have (zero)friends and some freedom to play with his Epson un-judged, our Leprechaun started producing amazing prints out of his magical device and after working side by side with Alex, Dave and the rest of us, the quality that this Dandy and his Magic Epson were able to spit out was incredible. And it keeps improving the more we all play with our Leprechaun together.

So to celebrate the continuous improvements that Dandy makes to the quality of our prints, we are releasing and selling Alex Pardee's "RED HANDED 2" limited edition print starting TONIGHT at midnight (eastern time, 9 pacific).

But Dandy or no Dandy, it wouldn't be a celebration if we didn't have a SALE! So guess what? We are knocking $20 OFF of the price of this "Red Handed 2" through Sunday, Sept 1.


Image may be NSFW.
Clik here to view.

"Red Handed 2"
Hand signed and numbered by Alex Pardee
Limited Edition of 100
16" x 20"
$60.00 (on sale for $40 NOW!!)

Ok so let's recap:
A Leprechaun helps us make things. We salute him.
Tonight at Midnight we are releasing Alex's "Red Handed 2 Print".
It normally will cost $60. But until THIS SUNDAY, it will ONLY BE $40!!!
We salute you as much as our Leprechaun.
Thanks!

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